Worship

Psalm 89:15-16: Happy are those who hear the joyful call to worship, for they will walk in the light of Your presence, Lord. They rejoice all day long in Your wonderful reputation.They exult in Your righteousness.


Don't Gimli and Virginia look so peaceful and content in this picture? They are resting with each other, enjoying the warmth of the sun. You might even go so far as to say they are "basking" in it. They are resting in the radiance of the sun.  They chose to be in the place in our home where the sun shines the brightest so they could get the most sunlight possible. They don't expect the sun to find them wherever they are- they moved themselves to where it was already shining. 


This picture reminds me of what worshiping God should look like: Resting in God's presence.  It sounds so easy when you boil it down to such a simple phrase, yet many believers don't actively worship on a regular basis. This is something I have struggled with for years. I have looked at other people at church who seem to really be worshiping passionately and thought, "Worship just doesn't come naturally to me like that", or "I'm just not as emotive as they are". Or I've found myself in churches that didn't have music that I preferred, so used that as an excuse to disengage.  The truth is, I have been fearful and lazy. Worship isn't something that just happens automatically. Just like Gimli and Virginia had to move themselves to the place where the sun was shining to receive the warmth, we also must move ourselves, readjust our heart and mindset to be focused on Jesus. We can't just stand there and wait for ourselves to spontaneously erupt in worship. To worship, we must intentionally choose to do so by engaging our hearts and minds. 


There are lots of reasons I have chosen not to engage my heart and mind in worship. I've disengaged at times when I've been in an emotionally fragile place and didn't want to embarrass myself by crying at church. I've avoided worshiping purely because I didn't want to put the work into engaging my heart and mind. I chose to just glaze over, sing the songs, and think about what I'd eat for lunch that day. I've believed a lie that I have to be all put together before I can really worship God, so felt unworthy to be in His presence, and avoided Him. I've had really big stuff going on in my life that has monopolized my thoughts. Instead of casting those things before the Lord, I've spent time I could have been worshiping Him just needlessly worrying and fretting over them. Most of the time, though, I've just been so concerned about how I'd appear to the people around me, not wanting to be thought too spiritual, not spiritual enough, a faker, a weirdo, or any other undesirable description I can come up with. 


Whatever the reason, the one who has lost out in these situations is myself. When we enter the presence of God, we cannot help but be blessed by Him. If we tell Him, "I love you", He will always respond with, "I love you too". How much of a difference would just feeling that love, peace, and comfort made in all of those situations? My prayer is that every opportunity I get, whether in the car on the way to work, at church, in my personal time of prayer and Bible reading, that I will truly rest in God's presence and worship Him with my whole heart. 

The Unnecessary Burden

For Halloween one year, we bought Gimli a lobster costume. He was absolutely adorable in it! Unfortunately, he didn't love being in it as much as we loved him in it. When we put it on him, he just laid down on the ground & wouldn't move. He didn't know what it was that was on him and wouldn't come off, but he did not like it! For Gimli, the lobster costume was nothing but a burden. It prevented him from being able to walk, run, & play. It was hot, uncomfortable, and got in his way.

I've got a burden that keeps creeping back into my life. I don't have to bear this burden, but it's familiar and makes me feel in control, so I often find myself picking it back up. It doesn't help me or offer me anything valuable. It distracts me from what's true, causes me stress, and monopolizes my time and energy with no results. What is this burden that I keep going back to that only takes from me?

Legalism.

Many Christians- myself definitely included- continue to try to earn God's approval and conquer sin on our own. In a culture that tells us, "You can do anything if you just work hard enough and set your mind to it", believing and trusting in the grace God offers us through Jesus' sacrifice seems lazy and foolish. I try to prove to God that I can do it, that I'm strong enough now to not have to rely on Him anymore. I'm treating Him like training wheels, when in reality, He is my wheel chair.

We are also believing lies about God, not accepting the truth that Jesus' death has forever reconciled us to God and He will accept us forever now. When I sin, I envision God looking at me in anger, heaving a giant sigh and saying, "Cynthia. How could you? How many times to I have to explain this to you before you get it? I freaking died for you. Get it together." That is a huge lie from the enemy to get me to hide from God & heap the burden of legalism on myself. God is not surprised by my sin. Jesus bore the full wrath of God against my sin, and that work is complete.

Resting at the feet of the master

God has done all that is necessary to remove the burden of earning salvation and defeating sin from us through Jesus. He is not a harsh, abusive slave driver. He is a gracious Lord to serve. Serving Him is not always easy, but never burdensome. Let's leave the burden of legalism at the foot of the cross where it was forever made obsolete.

Matthew 11:28-30: Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Honest Prayer

Gimli is so expressive of his feelings! We always know how he's feeling at any moment because he lets us know! When he's mad, he gruffs, goes to his crate and sulks. When he's excited, he has this totally different gruff- his excited gruff- and wags his tail, jumps up on us and gives us kisses. When he's mad at Virginia, he nips at her neck and wrestles her out of the way. I've even seen him get embarrassed, and he hangs his head and tries to play it cool! Hilarious!

I love how honest Gimli is about his feelings. It's not always the best thing to be totally open with our feelings to other people. But the amazing thing about God is that we can be completely honest with Him! We can tell Him every thought that enters our mind, even if its embarrassing, because, well, He already knows it! He knows what we're thinking and feeling & understands why even when we don't. One of my most treasured times with the Lord in my whole life was the first time I was truly honest with Him. I was in college and experienced an unexpected and major disappointment. I laid in my bed sobbing and praying, and somewhere from the depths of my heart that I didn't even know was there, I said to God, "I feel like you were unfaithful to me!" Immediately, I felt terror- "Oh my gosh, I just told God He was unfaithful!" I waited for lightning to strike me for what I perceived as a sinful thought, but instead I felt an overwhelming rush of peace and comfort. I felt like God was actually hugging me! He said, "I already knew you felt that way. It's okay to tell me! I love you!"  Since that day, I have found it incredibly freeing to talk to God about all of my thoughts and feelings, even if I know they are rooted in sin. When I bring them before the Lord, I find that my heart about the situation changes, and He gives me new perspective and helps me know how to respond.

Gimli doesn't have to be afraid of showing us his true feelings because we will love him, accept him and take care of him no matter how he behaves. Jesus has made it possible through His sacrifice for those who have accepted Him to approach God with confidence also, knowing we will always be accepted. What an incredible gift! Why wouldn't we bring every thought, feeling, concern, joy, or pain to His feet?

Hebrews 4:14-16: "So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most."

Pressing Upward

Last week, Paul had a one week class that kept him away from home all day for 5 days. The dogs are used to having Paul home with them most of the time, being out of the crate, & getting to play with Paul and each other. This week, that wasn't possible. They had to be in their crates for almost all day. When we finally did get home, they were dying for attention and to run out some energy. After a day or two of this, we noticed they were becoming more and more defiant and disobedient. We couldn't even get them to sit, which they usually do very quickly. Virginia was barking at everything in sight. They were completely acting on instinct instead of following us. As you can imagine, we were incredibly frustrated. When Paul's class ended and he was home more again, they settled back down very quickly. We concluded that their bad behavior was a result of not getting a fundamental need in their lives: quality time with and attention from their master.

I'm the same way when I don't get quality time with my Master, Jesus. It seems like my whole life is out of whack. When I haven't connected with Him, I am more prone to believe lies from my flesh or the enemy. Every insecurity feels like a glaring weakness on display for the world to see, and suddenly all I can think about is fixing myself, or at least how to fix how I appear.  I'm not worshiping God anymore- I'm worshiping the approval of others.  This makes me less patient, less kind, more defensive, more controlling and altogether focused on myself.

What I need every day is to hear my Master tell me, "I love you as you are, weaknesses and all. I have a plan for your life. I am at work in your life. You are valuable because you are Mine." If I don't take time to meet with Him and worship Him, instead of His voice, I hear my sinful flesh, the enemy and the world's voices. Life naturally leads us away from Christ. It's like walking up the down escalator. If we don't intentionally walk towards Christ, we will drift away from Him. It's considerably easier to go with the downward flow of the escalator, but the consequences are great.  I'm praying God will continue to remind me of the great reward of pressing on upward towards Him, and for the strength to keep climbing!

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door... You step into the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." -Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkin

Asking for Help

One thing Gimli and Virginia are great about is knowing their limitations. When they know they can't do something they want to do, they ask for help. When they want to go to the bathroom, they know they need our help to go outside. If they lose a toy under a table, they will whine and whine at us until we go and get their toy for them. They aren't afraid to burden us with another task to do for them. They know that if they ask us for help, we will get what they need.

I confess that I hate asking for help! I hate asking people to go out of their way for me, and feel that when people help me it is an inconvenience for them.  During busy seasons at my job, my coworkers will often ask me if they can help me with anything, and I even then hate to have someone else do what is my responsibility. Ironically, I love helping others and being asked for help.  The ugly truth is, I like to give off the appearance that I have it all together, so whether I'm helping someone else, or not needing help, I hope to appear to not have any weaknesses. But as much as I hate to admit it, I need help a lot. I'm not perfect and I need other people to help me in all areas of my life. Hiding my weakness doesn't help anyone, especially not me. We were made to work together in life, not fly solo. The Bible describes all the followers of Christ together as a "body". A body needs all of its parts to function. In the body of Christ, I am one part, but I can't function without all of the others. It is prideful and unwise for me to try to. 

I hope I'll be able to one day be like Gimli and Virginia, realistic about the gifts God has given me, as well as the ones He hasn't, and unafraid to ask for help when its needed from those who love me and with the common goal to bring God the most glory possible.

Rejection

Gimli loves playing tug of war! He will bring us toys, socks, dish towels, anything he can get his paws on and try to entice us to try to take it from him. He's got quite a jaw lock, and sometimes he holds so tight that we can lift him up off the ground by his teeth, pulling on the toy he's biting. The thing about tug of war is that only one dog can play at a time. Virginia really doesn't like tug of war by herself, but whenever Gimli is playing with us, she all of the sudden decides its her favorite game too and wants to play. She'll just bark and bark at us until we stop playing just with Gimli and start including her in the game. She doesn't like to be left out.

No one likes to feel left out or rejected. We want to be included, desired, and important to others. There's not much worse than feeling forgotten about, or worse: disliked and excluded. Unfortunately, its just a part of life that everyone who has ever lived has experienced. I've been reading a book called Lost Women of The Bible by Carolyn Custis James. She has amazing insight into rejection in the life of Hagar, the maidservant of Abraham and Sarah. Sarah hardcore rejected Hagar! Sarah forced her to get pregnant by her husband, carry a child that she would have to hand over to Sarah, and then after she did all of that, Sarah resents her and abuses her so much that Hagar fled into the wilderness. This is after living her whole life as a Gentile slave girl, which at that time was basically as low as you could be in society. While she was in the wilderness, God spoke to her. He told her that He would bless her and give her many descendants through her son. Hagar then gave God a name: she called Him El Roi, "the God who sees me". Though God gave her this amazing promise, the thing that impacted her the most was that He saw her, He knew everything about her and loved her. She was important to Him. How amazing that must have been for someone who probably never felt important to anyone in her whole life.

God sees each one of us, every person who has ever lived. He loves each of us so much that He made the ultimate sacrifice to give us a chance to reconcile our relationship with Him that was broken by our sin. He offers us the gift of forgiveness for our sin that is free for us but very costly for Him. When we receive this gift of forgiveness, He promises He will never reject us.  We can never do anything that will make Him stop loving us or cost us the salvation He has given to us. How wonderful that we serve a God who we never have to fear being rejected by!

Minding My Business

Often when Gimli and Virginia plop down to rest, they lay in ways that seem to make no sense. Their necks and heads craned back as if in a back bend, or draped over our laps with their heads hanging upside down. We look at them and say, "That can't be comfortable!" I will pick them up and try to reposition them in a way that I think will be more pleasant for them. But in the end, they twist, turn, dig, and stretch as they wish and lay in ways they choose. They know what makes them comfortable more than I do.

I can often do the same thing with people I know and love, people I don't like, and even those I don't know at all. How very easy it is for me to project my own opinions, preferences, and convictions on other people. There are times when a friends' well being is at stake, but the majority of the time, their choices may cause an annoyance to me, but no danger to them or anyone else. And truthfully, is there anything more annoying than a person offering unsolicited and undesired advice?

When I think about the impact I want to have on others, that's not what I have in mind. I don't want to be the type of person people avoid sharing their lives with for fear of intrusion and judgement. People will always disagree with me, choose to value things differently than I do, and make decisions I may not agree with. I pray that God would make me a person of safety and comfort for others, one whom people feel free to be themselves and not have to wear a mask. Those are the kinds of relationships we all remember and cherish the most.

 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12: "Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody."