Know His Voice

Keeping Watch

When I first moved to Dallas and started driving 45 minutes each day to work, I would call Paul before I left work each day. Since we got the pups, I can't do that anymore. We started noticing that somehow they would know that it was me calling and would get all worked up and excited, waiting anxiously by the door hoping I would be home soon. We thought through lots of theories as to how they knew it was me calling versus someone else. Then we learned something very interesting about schnauzers- they are known for having exceptional hearing. Knowing this about them, it dawned on us: They can hear my voice through the phone with their super sonic hearing, and recognize it!

I talk to the dogs every day. I give them commands, give them affection, call their names, give them praise. They also hear me talk to Paul all the time at the house. They are very well acquainted with the sound of my voice. They also are very attached to me and wait expectantly each day for me to return from work. They know that each day I will call Paul and shortly after I will return home. Though its a very faint sound, they know it's coming and want to hear it, so they are listening for it each time Paul's phone rings.

Similarly, God speaks to us each day also, but not usually audibly. He speaks most often through His Word and through prayer to our hearts. This sort of listening is different than any other type we experience. It takes a lot of practice to develop the muscle of listening for God's voice. It's so important that we know God's voice well because there are a lot of other voices speaking lies to us every day, trying to distract us from God's voice. The voices of the enemy, our own sinful desires, the world's values and practices, bad advice from others- all of these voices are trying to distract us from hearing and believing the voice of God, the voice of Truth. If we know God's word well, when we hear a lie creep up in our hearts, we can easily say, "That doesn't sound like something God would say." If someone said to me, "Paul said that you are a terrible cook", I would easily be able to say, "That can't be true- he compliments me on my cooking every day and usually wants seconds. Also, he never speaks negatively about me to others, so surely this isn't true." In the same way, if I had a thought in my head of, "God doesn't care about you. If He did, He wouldn't let you suffer like this", I can say, "That can't be true- He does care about me because Jesus died in my place. Also, just because He is allowing me to be in pain doesn't mean He doesn't love me. Lots of times, those we love have to allow us to suffer so we can grow. God has been doing this in people's lives since the beginning of humanity."

My prayer is that I would long to hear the voice of God every day like my pups long to hear my voice on the other side of Paul's cell phone each day. I pray that as I read His Word, speak to Him daily, that His words, His character, and His truth would be burned into my mind so that when a lie creeps up, I won't allow it to linger in my mind and heart for even a moment.

Envy

Why is that the thing we feel like we want or need the most is the thing we cannot have? Sometimes we don't even realize we want or need this thing until it is unavailable. This scenario plays out daily in the lives of Gimli and Virginia. We've got probably 5 or 6 dog bones around the house at any given moment. But for some reason, the only one that matters to the dogs is the one that the other dog is chewing on at that time. I'll hold another bone out for them, and it just isn't good enough even though it is the exact same thing! Looking in from the outside, its easy to think, "What is wrong with these crazy dogs?!" But the truth is, I often do the same thing.

I cannot count the times each day that I look at someone else and think, "I wish I had that", or "I wish I looked like that", or "Why can't my life be like theirs?" I so often compare my life to others and instantly find thousands of problems in my oh-so-blessed life. When I step back and look at myself with this sort of attitude, one name comes to mind: Veruca Salt. You know Veruca- the little girl in "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" who was always whining and complaining about what she didn't have, when she was the wealthiest and most privileged child of the bunch? Her motto: "Don't care how- I want it now!" She is absolutely the last person in the world I want to emulate, but that is exactly what's going on in my heart. I have been given so very much, yet here I go thinking about all the things I don't have (yet I continue to still live- imagine that!), and whining to God about what he has withheld from me. He has not withheld anything! I live in a country where I can be a Christian and no one will put me in jail. I've got the Bible translated in hundreds of different ways, commentaries, study guides, podcasts by the best preachers in the world- all at my fingertips! There are still millions of people in the world who don't have the Bible translated in their language, let alone multiple translations. Not to mention the millions who have yet to have a missionary visit them- they know nothing of Jesus yet. How on earth can I say God has withheld anything from me? I have a car. I have a job. I have a wonderful husband who adores me and values me as an equal human being. I have indoor plumbing and electricity in my home. I am filthy rich compared to the way most of the world lives today. Yet I still can find many things I don't have that I "need". Shame, shame, shame on this hideously ugly attitude of entitlement!

Gimli and Virginia aren't people and don't know better, but I do. I have no excuse for any hint of entitlement in my heart. The best way to combat entitlement is through refocusing our minds to thankfulness. When I am tempted to complain about what I lack, I try to remember all the things I have. It doesn't take long to realize how unbelievably blessed I am, and how God has been so ridiculously kind and generous to me. I am praying that God would not allow even a hint of envy to linger in my heart unchecked. I don't have time to complain when so many need to hear the message of Christ, and I have so much to learn about Him. I am praying that those 2 things- knowing Him and making Him known- become my motivation for all I do, and that I don't waste precious time and energy focusing on myself.

Sharing

He's not cuddling- he's pushing her off

Gimli doesn't like to share. We've got lots of toys for them both, yet for some reason he cannot bear to let Virginia play with them on her own. When she starts playing with a toy, that becomes the toy he must play with at that moment. He doesn't like to share us either. He will completely push her out of the way if he decides he wants the closest seat to mom and dad. He wants to be comfortable, and if that requires pushing Virginia off the bed in the middle of the night while she's asleep, so be it.

Sharing is tough for me too. But for me it's not about toys or space- it's about the gospel. I have this amazing news that so many people right here in my backyard have never heard- that God loves them, created them to know Him personally, and has provided a way for them to spend eternity in relationship with Him through Jesus, and that way is the only way for anyone to know God. The problem is, this news isn't always well received in our culture. And I'm scared- I'm scared of upsetting someone, losing a friend, being insulted to my face, or even just rejected. It is a very scary proposition to share the gospel of Jesus to those who don't know it yet.

But how important it is that I do share!!  There is no guarantee that the people I am surrounded by who don't know God will ever hear the gospel if I don't share it with them.  It doesn't matter that we are in America. It is no longer true that everyone living in America has heard the gospel of Jesus before. There may be a church on every corner, but so many Americans will never step foot in one. They must know, and we must go to where they are and tell them.

I don't want to be like Gimli with the gospel- only concerned with my own comfort and blind to the needs of others around me. I want to be generous with it- sharing it every chance I get. I am praying for opportunities to do this, for open eyes to notice when those doors open, and for my love of Christ to grow more and more so that I can't help but share about His love because it's on my mind and heart constantly.

Kindness

When we first got Virginia, she immediately began showing affection to all of us. Paul and I loved this of course, but Gimli wasn't so sure. She would come try to snuggle up to him for a nap, and he would get up and move, or push her out of the way. He would find a new place to sleep, she'd follow him there, try to cuddle, he'd move, she'd follow him again, and on and on. They'd do this little dance all around the room for hours. She didn't quite get the memo that he wasn't interested, or at least she wasn't deterred by it. Over time, Gimli started to warm up to her little by little. He let her lay next to his dog bed, and then he let her put her head on the dog bed, then before we knew it, they would cuddle on the dog bed even though it was too small for both of them. She won him over with her sweetness and love.

My mom always told me, "Honey draws more flies than vinegar." It's true- people like to be around nice people and don't want to be around mean people. As Christians, it is exceedingly important that we show kindness to others in every situation, no matter how the other person is responding. We are representing Christ to the world that needs Him, and they will associate our attitudes and actions with Him. What a huge responsibility! I love the saying, "No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care." Why would anyone want to serve the God of a person they don't like or respect? It's also important that we not give up on being kind even when others are not kind in response. Sometimes those who seem the farthest off are often the closest to being ready to trust Christ. We have no idea what's going on in people's lives, what they've experienced, how others have hurt them in the past, and if they are rebelling against God's tugging on their hearts. Unfortunately, many people have been hurt by mean Christians, and therefore we have to be even more kind to them to make up for those negative experiences. It's worth it because every person in the world is irreplaceable and invaluable to God, and if we don't share with them about Jesus' love for them, who will?

I pray that I would be diligent and not give up showing kindness to others like Virginia, so that others might be won over to Jesus because they experienced a little taste of His love for them through me. What an honor that would be!

Wrestling

Gimli loves to play! Of course he does, he's a dog right? All dogs love to play. Well, Gimli doesn't just play- he takes play time very seriously. He is not content to just run and fetch a ball or a frisbee. He wants to chase, be chased, play tug of war, wrestle, and he wants to do it all intensely. He expects intensity out of us playing with him also. He can tell when we are faking it, and that's just not going to cut it for Gimli's play time. Before we had Virginia, playing with Gimli was our one and only hobby from when we got home from work until bed time. He wants quality time with us, and for him that means all of us being fully engaged in play time.

One of his new favorite games is called "Attack mom's dust rag while she's trying to clean the house." He jumps and dives after the dust rag while I'm cleaning off our bed, end tables, TV- anything. He will throw himself fully into obtaining this rag, without any fear of endangering his life. I've tried just getting out the rag and giving it to him, but that's not what he wants. It's not about the rag- it's about the chase and playtime with me. He doesn't want me to just give him the prize- he wants to engage with me, spend time with me, bond with me, and eventually, beat me to the punch by stealing the rag.

I want to want knowledge about God with this kind of intensity. Most of the time, however, I'm content to just receive the "answer". I am often lazy about my relationship with God and not really pursue getting to know Him. I'm quick to take the word of a trusted pastor or leader about what the Bible says about gray areas rather than seek out the answer myself. I often don't want to put forth the time and energy required to feed myself spiritually, so I just let someone else spoon feed me.  How undesired and unloved this attitude must make God feel!

I can't say that I have a personal relationship with Britney Spears just because I watched her True Hollywood Story episode, or I've read lots of news articles about her. In the same way, just because I let another person who has studied Scripture and spent years following after God tell me who He is, that doesn't mean I know Him. I think learning from educated and Godly teachers is very important, but it can never replace that personal time wrestling with God through the Scriptures, asking Him about what something means, searching for that answer, thinking and meditating on what God has revealed to us about Himself through the Bible, and walking with Him through that whole process.  It's not just about the answer- it's about the process, the time spent with God, asking Him to reveal Himself to me and teach me through His Word. Sometimes there isn't even an answer, sometimes it's just questions and more questions. But that's okay because we are engaging with God through that process, and since the point of it all is to get to know Him, that's happening if we find the answer or not.

Gimli is not happy or content if he has not had good play time with us. He knows he needs this, and makes it his top priority of the day, along with eating and sleeping. I need to be reminded of how much I need that interaction with God every day. I amy praying that God would give me an insatiable desire to dig into His Word & into times of prayer out of a need to know Him more and more. I pray that I am not satisfied with a cheap answer or a half-hearted pursuit of truth.

Community

My dogs get a very important truth: Life is better lived in community. They are each other's best buds. They play together all the time. When we walk them, they want to walk side by side, not one in front of the other. Sometimes they still have fights and get mad at each other if they steal each other's toys or treats, but they are quick to forgive and move on as friends. They know holding a grudge is a waste of time, and they need each other. Gimli had to be convinced of this when we first got Virginia. She has always been a little cuddle bug, so she tried to snuggle up to him from the get-go. At first, this was very undesirable to Gimli. He would get up and move if she encroached on his space, or push her out of the way. But over time, her sweet spirit won him over. Now he loves cuddling with her as much as she does him. Since we got Virginia, Gimli has been a much more contented and agreeable dog. He gets much more energy out by playing with her. We used to have to walk him 3 times a day (by walk I mean a true walk for 30 minutes, not just a potty break). Now, he doesn't need any long walks.

It can be tempting to try to go it alone in life. It is risky to put ourselves out there to meet new people, invest in friendships, & resolve conflict. It's so much easier to invest all our time in the person we know how to please the best- ourselves. I am a very social person, so I'm not tempted to go it alone, but I am tempted to be lazy about my relationships when I am focused on what I get out of the relationship rather than what I can give. I am often tempted to avoid difficult people because they require more work and energy, when they are the ones who need love and care the most. I am tempted to not invest in relationships when there is little chance of a long term friendship. Why does it have to be long term to be a good use of energy and time? What if the person I am building a friendship with needs that community more than I do? I can become so focused on my own needs that I miss out on a chance to serve others.

People's souls are one of three eternal things, along with God and His Word. What better use of time and energy is there than to invest in something that has eternal significance? God has called us to live in community with others- in fact, we NEED to be in community with others. This can be tough because sinful people are bound to hurt each other at some point. But if we can take the time and energy to make our relationships a priority, resolve conflict, and live life together, we will never be alone. Gimli and Virginia get it. I pray that I will too.

Fear of the Unknown

Gimli does not like uncertainty. He likes to know exactly what is going to happen throughout the day. He likes routine, to be in familiar environments and does not like change. He notices patterns and can usually predict what is going to happen based on our behavior. It's really amazing actually. When things don't go as he plans, he gets very anxious and out of sorts. When I leave for work in the morning, he's fine. But if I go to the store in the middle of the day on Saturday or Sunday, he cries and howls, and hovers by the door until I get home. This is not on his agenda, and he does not like it. The times we have moved, it has taken him several weeks before feeling comfortable in our new place. He will cry when we leave, which is uncharacteristic. He is unsure about where he is, so he doesn't want to be left without us.

I don't like uncertain situations either. I don't like that in a year Paul will graduate from seminary and we have no idea where he'll get a job, what kind of church it will be, what role it will be- there are so many options, it can be overwhelming to think about. I don't like that when Paul and I are out of the house, we don't know what's going on in our apartment. After being robbed, I have a lot of fear about leaving the dogs in our apartment. It's scary to not be in control.

The truth is, we're never in control. God is always in control. The fear and anxiety we feel on a daily basis due to not being in control is an utter waste. As Jesus said in Matthew, "How many of you by worrying can add a single day to your life?" None of us can. None of us can know the future, no matter how hard we try to predict it or guess at it. Sometimes I go online to pastor job website and look at what kinds of openings there are right now. I know it is a complete waste of time to do this, because Paul still has a whole year before he graduates, and those jobs will be filled by that time. It's pointless, but i'm tempted to do it anyway because I want to guess at the future to make myself feel better about not knowing. What I should do instead is focus on what God has called me to for today, and not waste time and energy thinking and worrying about the future. The same God who created the universe & knows everything that will happen for the rest of eternity, is the same God who created me, knows me perfectly, and offers to lead me through each step of my life. He has all the knowledge, all the power, and perfect love for me. He is entirely trustworthy. What could I do about my own life that would ever come close to what He could do?

I don't want Gimli to be anxious and worry about where I am. I want him to trust that I'm okay and will come back home very soon. God doesn't want me to worry either. My prayer is that as I continue to grow closer to the Lord by spending time with Him in His Word and prayer, that I'll focus on worship rather than worry.