Wrestling

Gimli loves to play! Of course he does, he's a dog right? All dogs love to play. Well, Gimli doesn't just play- he takes play time very seriously. He is not content to just run and fetch a ball or a frisbee. He wants to chase, be chased, play tug of war, wrestle, and he wants to do it all intensely. He expects intensity out of us playing with him also. He can tell when we are faking it, and that's just not going to cut it for Gimli's play time. Before we had Virginia, playing with Gimli was our one and only hobby from when we got home from work until bed time. He wants quality time with us, and for him that means all of us being fully engaged in play time.

One of his new favorite games is called "Attack mom's dust rag while she's trying to clean the house." He jumps and dives after the dust rag while I'm cleaning off our bed, end tables, TV- anything. He will throw himself fully into obtaining this rag, without any fear of endangering his life. I've tried just getting out the rag and giving it to him, but that's not what he wants. It's not about the rag- it's about the chase and playtime with me. He doesn't want me to just give him the prize- he wants to engage with me, spend time with me, bond with me, and eventually, beat me to the punch by stealing the rag.

I want to want knowledge about God with this kind of intensity. Most of the time, however, I'm content to just receive the "answer". I am often lazy about my relationship with God and not really pursue getting to know Him. I'm quick to take the word of a trusted pastor or leader about what the Bible says about gray areas rather than seek out the answer myself. I often don't want to put forth the time and energy required to feed myself spiritually, so I just let someone else spoon feed me.  How undesired and unloved this attitude must make God feel!

I can't say that I have a personal relationship with Britney Spears just because I watched her True Hollywood Story episode, or I've read lots of news articles about her. In the same way, just because I let another person who has studied Scripture and spent years following after God tell me who He is, that doesn't mean I know Him. I think learning from educated and Godly teachers is very important, but it can never replace that personal time wrestling with God through the Scriptures, asking Him about what something means, searching for that answer, thinking and meditating on what God has revealed to us about Himself through the Bible, and walking with Him through that whole process.  It's not just about the answer- it's about the process, the time spent with God, asking Him to reveal Himself to me and teach me through His Word. Sometimes there isn't even an answer, sometimes it's just questions and more questions. But that's okay because we are engaging with God through that process, and since the point of it all is to get to know Him, that's happening if we find the answer or not.

Gimli is not happy or content if he has not had good play time with us. He knows he needs this, and makes it his top priority of the day, along with eating and sleeping. I need to be reminded of how much I need that interaction with God every day. I amy praying that God would give me an insatiable desire to dig into His Word & into times of prayer out of a need to know Him more and more. I pray that I am not satisfied with a cheap answer or a half-hearted pursuit of truth.