Following the Call

Gimli mid-bark

Our neighbor stopped by the other day to borrow an iron. Being the fierce watchdog that Gimli is, he went nuts. He barked and barked, and wanted to storm out the door the second he could to greet the unknown visitor. We are trying to reclaim the door as our territory, so we've been commanding Gimli to go to his crate when he starts going berserk at the door. So, following along with this plan, Paul commands Gimli, "Go to your crate!". Gimli whines and reluctantly runs to his crate. Two seconds later, he's back. He can't help himself- he must know who it is that is at our door! He runs back to the door from the crate, to which Paul responds, "Gimli- go to your crate!" Letting us know his disapproval of this command, he whines all the way back to his crate, and guess what- 2 seconds later- back at the door! This pattern repeats 5 or 6 times before we could actually open the door for our neighbor.

Gimli had difficulty submitting to Paul's command because he had something different in mind for himself in this situation. He didn't like the command Paul gave him, so he struggled to obey. We could tell he wanted to obey out of loyalty to Paul, but the situation seemed more important than obedience. It wasn't of course, which we knew because we could see who was behind the door through the peep hole. Gimli had no idea who was there, and couldn't know because he is just too short to look through the peephole. But we're not. We are trying to train him to trust us to handle the unknown. I can relate to Gimli, because I often have trouble accepting God's call on my life if I want something different. Even when the calling God has given me is abundantly clear, I often struggle to obey because- well, I just don't like it. I go back and forth with Him, asking a zillion questions like,

 "Are you sure this is what I'm supposed to be doing? Are you sure you want me here? Are you sure I'm not going to look like an idiot if I do this? Wouldn't we all be happier if I were doing this other thing? See, look at all the advantages of me doing this other thing! No?... You just want me to keep doing what you've already told me to? For how long? (no answer)  I' guess that means indefinitely... But are you SURE God???" 

The truth I must accept is that in every phase of my life, there will be something I want to be different about my life. Life will never look exactly how I desire it to. That's the problem with living in a fallen world in a sinful body. But honestly, it really shouldn't because I don't know what's best for me, or what's lurking behind doors I can't see behind. I have to learn to accept the call God has given me for today, and obey Him because He is trustworthy & sees the big picture of my life and the whole universe. I don't think He minds, though, when I ask a zillion questions. Obedience is a process, and one we must engage with God to learn, so I think asking questions is good, as long as I can accept His answers even if it's not what I want to hear.

I believe God's got a plan to teach me to trust and obey Him, just like we've got a plan to teach Gimli not to go berserk over every knock on the door. Both plans involve commands requiring immediate and thorough obedience. I hope Gimli and I both learn quick!

Comfort

We took Gimli and Virginia to get their annual check ups last week. They did great at the vet, but shortly after we returned home, Virginia started having an allergic reaction to one of the vaccines she got. It was clear she felt terrible. We ended up having to take her back to the vet twice to relieve her pain. The whole time she was sick, she just cuddled up to me and wanted me to pet her. I got up for just a second, and when I returned she was shivering because she was scared. She didn't want to leave my side even for a second. She didn't feel good and knew where she would receive comfort. She didn't go to her toys, her food, her water, or even Gimli. She came to her mom.

When I am in pain, I don't always go to my Father for comfort. I often go to friends, family, Paul, seek to mask my pain through food or distract myself through entertainment. None of things can do anything for my pain. All they can offer is a temporary distraction. Christ, however, knows our pain intimately. We don't even have to tell Him what's going on- He knows. He loves us exponentially more than we will ever understand, and certainly more than anyone else will ever love us. He is in perfect control of all things, knows the past, present, and future of the entire universe, and yet cares about the little details in each of our lives. This is truly amazing. Why on earth would I turn to anything else? Mostly because I'm sinful, but my prayer is that God would remind me of His presence, His love and His desire and ability to comfort me in my pain, and that I need Him in the painful times.


Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. -Matthew 11: 28-31

Know His Voice

Keeping Watch

When I first moved to Dallas and started driving 45 minutes each day to work, I would call Paul before I left work each day. Since we got the pups, I can't do that anymore. We started noticing that somehow they would know that it was me calling and would get all worked up and excited, waiting anxiously by the door hoping I would be home soon. We thought through lots of theories as to how they knew it was me calling versus someone else. Then we learned something very interesting about schnauzers- they are known for having exceptional hearing. Knowing this about them, it dawned on us: They can hear my voice through the phone with their super sonic hearing, and recognize it!

I talk to the dogs every day. I give them commands, give them affection, call their names, give them praise. They also hear me talk to Paul all the time at the house. They are very well acquainted with the sound of my voice. They also are very attached to me and wait expectantly each day for me to return from work. They know that each day I will call Paul and shortly after I will return home. Though its a very faint sound, they know it's coming and want to hear it, so they are listening for it each time Paul's phone rings.

Similarly, God speaks to us each day also, but not usually audibly. He speaks most often through His Word and through prayer to our hearts. This sort of listening is different than any other type we experience. It takes a lot of practice to develop the muscle of listening for God's voice. It's so important that we know God's voice well because there are a lot of other voices speaking lies to us every day, trying to distract us from God's voice. The voices of the enemy, our own sinful desires, the world's values and practices, bad advice from others- all of these voices are trying to distract us from hearing and believing the voice of God, the voice of Truth. If we know God's word well, when we hear a lie creep up in our hearts, we can easily say, "That doesn't sound like something God would say." If someone said to me, "Paul said that you are a terrible cook", I would easily be able to say, "That can't be true- he compliments me on my cooking every day and usually wants seconds. Also, he never speaks negatively about me to others, so surely this isn't true." In the same way, if I had a thought in my head of, "God doesn't care about you. If He did, He wouldn't let you suffer like this", I can say, "That can't be true- He does care about me because Jesus died in my place. Also, just because He is allowing me to be in pain doesn't mean He doesn't love me. Lots of times, those we love have to allow us to suffer so we can grow. God has been doing this in people's lives since the beginning of humanity."

My prayer is that I would long to hear the voice of God every day like my pups long to hear my voice on the other side of Paul's cell phone each day. I pray that as I read His Word, speak to Him daily, that His words, His character, and His truth would be burned into my mind so that when a lie creeps up, I won't allow it to linger in my mind and heart for even a moment.

Envy

Why is that the thing we feel like we want or need the most is the thing we cannot have? Sometimes we don't even realize we want or need this thing until it is unavailable. This scenario plays out daily in the lives of Gimli and Virginia. We've got probably 5 or 6 dog bones around the house at any given moment. But for some reason, the only one that matters to the dogs is the one that the other dog is chewing on at that time. I'll hold another bone out for them, and it just isn't good enough even though it is the exact same thing! Looking in from the outside, its easy to think, "What is wrong with these crazy dogs?!" But the truth is, I often do the same thing.

I cannot count the times each day that I look at someone else and think, "I wish I had that", or "I wish I looked like that", or "Why can't my life be like theirs?" I so often compare my life to others and instantly find thousands of problems in my oh-so-blessed life. When I step back and look at myself with this sort of attitude, one name comes to mind: Veruca Salt. You know Veruca- the little girl in "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" who was always whining and complaining about what she didn't have, when she was the wealthiest and most privileged child of the bunch? Her motto: "Don't care how- I want it now!" She is absolutely the last person in the world I want to emulate, but that is exactly what's going on in my heart. I have been given so very much, yet here I go thinking about all the things I don't have (yet I continue to still live- imagine that!), and whining to God about what he has withheld from me. He has not withheld anything! I live in a country where I can be a Christian and no one will put me in jail. I've got the Bible translated in hundreds of different ways, commentaries, study guides, podcasts by the best preachers in the world- all at my fingertips! There are still millions of people in the world who don't have the Bible translated in their language, let alone multiple translations. Not to mention the millions who have yet to have a missionary visit them- they know nothing of Jesus yet. How on earth can I say God has withheld anything from me? I have a car. I have a job. I have a wonderful husband who adores me and values me as an equal human being. I have indoor plumbing and electricity in my home. I am filthy rich compared to the way most of the world lives today. Yet I still can find many things I don't have that I "need". Shame, shame, shame on this hideously ugly attitude of entitlement!

Gimli and Virginia aren't people and don't know better, but I do. I have no excuse for any hint of entitlement in my heart. The best way to combat entitlement is through refocusing our minds to thankfulness. When I am tempted to complain about what I lack, I try to remember all the things I have. It doesn't take long to realize how unbelievably blessed I am, and how God has been so ridiculously kind and generous to me. I am praying that God would not allow even a hint of envy to linger in my heart unchecked. I don't have time to complain when so many need to hear the message of Christ, and I have so much to learn about Him. I am praying that those 2 things- knowing Him and making Him known- become my motivation for all I do, and that I don't waste precious time and energy focusing on myself.

Sharing

He's not cuddling- he's pushing her off

Gimli doesn't like to share. We've got lots of toys for them both, yet for some reason he cannot bear to let Virginia play with them on her own. When she starts playing with a toy, that becomes the toy he must play with at that moment. He doesn't like to share us either. He will completely push her out of the way if he decides he wants the closest seat to mom and dad. He wants to be comfortable, and if that requires pushing Virginia off the bed in the middle of the night while she's asleep, so be it.

Sharing is tough for me too. But for me it's not about toys or space- it's about the gospel. I have this amazing news that so many people right here in my backyard have never heard- that God loves them, created them to know Him personally, and has provided a way for them to spend eternity in relationship with Him through Jesus, and that way is the only way for anyone to know God. The problem is, this news isn't always well received in our culture. And I'm scared- I'm scared of upsetting someone, losing a friend, being insulted to my face, or even just rejected. It is a very scary proposition to share the gospel of Jesus to those who don't know it yet.

But how important it is that I do share!!  There is no guarantee that the people I am surrounded by who don't know God will ever hear the gospel if I don't share it with them.  It doesn't matter that we are in America. It is no longer true that everyone living in America has heard the gospel of Jesus before. There may be a church on every corner, but so many Americans will never step foot in one. They must know, and we must go to where they are and tell them.

I don't want to be like Gimli with the gospel- only concerned with my own comfort and blind to the needs of others around me. I want to be generous with it- sharing it every chance I get. I am praying for opportunities to do this, for open eyes to notice when those doors open, and for my love of Christ to grow more and more so that I can't help but share about His love because it's on my mind and heart constantly.

Kindness

When we first got Virginia, she immediately began showing affection to all of us. Paul and I loved this of course, but Gimli wasn't so sure. She would come try to snuggle up to him for a nap, and he would get up and move, or push her out of the way. He would find a new place to sleep, she'd follow him there, try to cuddle, he'd move, she'd follow him again, and on and on. They'd do this little dance all around the room for hours. She didn't quite get the memo that he wasn't interested, or at least she wasn't deterred by it. Over time, Gimli started to warm up to her little by little. He let her lay next to his dog bed, and then he let her put her head on the dog bed, then before we knew it, they would cuddle on the dog bed even though it was too small for both of them. She won him over with her sweetness and love.

My mom always told me, "Honey draws more flies than vinegar." It's true- people like to be around nice people and don't want to be around mean people. As Christians, it is exceedingly important that we show kindness to others in every situation, no matter how the other person is responding. We are representing Christ to the world that needs Him, and they will associate our attitudes and actions with Him. What a huge responsibility! I love the saying, "No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care." Why would anyone want to serve the God of a person they don't like or respect? It's also important that we not give up on being kind even when others are not kind in response. Sometimes those who seem the farthest off are often the closest to being ready to trust Christ. We have no idea what's going on in people's lives, what they've experienced, how others have hurt them in the past, and if they are rebelling against God's tugging on their hearts. Unfortunately, many people have been hurt by mean Christians, and therefore we have to be even more kind to them to make up for those negative experiences. It's worth it because every person in the world is irreplaceable and invaluable to God, and if we don't share with them about Jesus' love for them, who will?

I pray that I would be diligent and not give up showing kindness to others like Virginia, so that others might be won over to Jesus because they experienced a little taste of His love for them through me. What an honor that would be!

Wrestling

Gimli loves to play! Of course he does, he's a dog right? All dogs love to play. Well, Gimli doesn't just play- he takes play time very seriously. He is not content to just run and fetch a ball or a frisbee. He wants to chase, be chased, play tug of war, wrestle, and he wants to do it all intensely. He expects intensity out of us playing with him also. He can tell when we are faking it, and that's just not going to cut it for Gimli's play time. Before we had Virginia, playing with Gimli was our one and only hobby from when we got home from work until bed time. He wants quality time with us, and for him that means all of us being fully engaged in play time.

One of his new favorite games is called "Attack mom's dust rag while she's trying to clean the house." He jumps and dives after the dust rag while I'm cleaning off our bed, end tables, TV- anything. He will throw himself fully into obtaining this rag, without any fear of endangering his life. I've tried just getting out the rag and giving it to him, but that's not what he wants. It's not about the rag- it's about the chase and playtime with me. He doesn't want me to just give him the prize- he wants to engage with me, spend time with me, bond with me, and eventually, beat me to the punch by stealing the rag.

I want to want knowledge about God with this kind of intensity. Most of the time, however, I'm content to just receive the "answer". I am often lazy about my relationship with God and not really pursue getting to know Him. I'm quick to take the word of a trusted pastor or leader about what the Bible says about gray areas rather than seek out the answer myself. I often don't want to put forth the time and energy required to feed myself spiritually, so I just let someone else spoon feed me.  How undesired and unloved this attitude must make God feel!

I can't say that I have a personal relationship with Britney Spears just because I watched her True Hollywood Story episode, or I've read lots of news articles about her. In the same way, just because I let another person who has studied Scripture and spent years following after God tell me who He is, that doesn't mean I know Him. I think learning from educated and Godly teachers is very important, but it can never replace that personal time wrestling with God through the Scriptures, asking Him about what something means, searching for that answer, thinking and meditating on what God has revealed to us about Himself through the Bible, and walking with Him through that whole process.  It's not just about the answer- it's about the process, the time spent with God, asking Him to reveal Himself to me and teach me through His Word. Sometimes there isn't even an answer, sometimes it's just questions and more questions. But that's okay because we are engaging with God through that process, and since the point of it all is to get to know Him, that's happening if we find the answer or not.

Gimli is not happy or content if he has not had good play time with us. He knows he needs this, and makes it his top priority of the day, along with eating and sleeping. I need to be reminded of how much I need that interaction with God every day. I amy praying that God would give me an insatiable desire to dig into His Word & into times of prayer out of a need to know Him more and more. I pray that I am not satisfied with a cheap answer or a half-hearted pursuit of truth.