Worry & Idols

I'm a chronic worrier. I have been all my life. When I think back on the different life stages I've gone through, I find it interesting how things that I worried about then are totally different than what I worry about now. As a teen, I was frantically worried that I wouldn't fit in. In college, I worried I wouldn't stand out. Now, as an adult, those sorts of things rarely cross my mind, but I am still overwhelmed with worry. Now, I worry incessantly about the safety and health of those I care about most. 

After we lost Gimli for a few months, I worry about he and Virginia and their safety every time we leave the house. I worry we will come back to a ransacked apartment and the dogs taken. I worry I will lose hold of their leash and they will run into the street and get hit by a car. Losing Gimli was so painful, the thought of experiencing that again overwhelms me with worry and fear. I know that we have done all we can to secure our apartment, and the odds are very slim that we would be robbed again for many reasons, but I still worry. I truly cannot help it. 

Last Sunday, my pastor gave us a few questions to ask ourselves to help us identify idols in our hearts. I have been mulling over these questions all week:

*From what or whom do you seek your significance?

*What or whom do you worry or think about constantly?

*For what or whom are you willing to bend the rules?

*What are you afraid of losing?

*What or whom is most important for you to be happy?

*What or whom can you not imagine living your life without?

Several things come to mind as I consider these questions in my life, but one would definitely be Gimli and Virginia. I am afraid of losing them & worry about them often. As I've been praying through these questions, God has asked me, "If I called you to go out of the country and you had to leave the dogs here, would you obey Me?" I want to say yes, but I confess I am conflicted about that. It's safe to say that in my heart, I am inching dangerously close to idolatry with Gimli and Virginia. 

God has given me these puppies to be a source of companionship and encouragement in my life. He did not give me these dogs to replace Him in my heart as most important, or to be a source of distraction and distance between myself and the Lord. This is one of many things competing for my worship and adoration. But God will not share me with anyone or anything. He loves me too much to allow me to let anything into my heart that will steal my affection and worship from Him. I pray that God will help me continue to fight against the temptation to put other things besides Him on a pedestal in my heart, and that He would change my heart to be 100% His alone. 

Psalm 73:25-26: Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.